Rory Gilmore
by freeway whores
Summary: First GGPotC crossover ever. This really doesn't have much of a plot, but it's pretty good. Very very very minor Will bashing. I hope this is actually funny. It'd be pretty sad to call it funny when it's not. Rating may go up.
1. Prologue

AN: This is my first fic I've put up on , but it's not the first thing I've ever written. Now, don't ask me for a plot. If I try making one up, the story will be screwed and it won't be here anymore. I know, how unfortunate. As far as I can tell, no one's ever had a Gilmore Girls and PotC crossover, so I'll be happy to be your first. And just so you know, I can't spell for shit (who'd want to do that?), and I won't make Rory into a Mary Sue. She kind of is perfect allready. Not sure if this is a romance or what. So... on with the effing thing! My gramar sucks too.

Prologue....

"Did you know that seventy-five percent of statistics aren't true?" Tana mumbled out in that quiet voice of hers.

"No." Rory replied. She was used these sudden nervous outbursts of facts by now.

"But that's a statistic, so you never know."

"Nice." She nodded as she took the last slice of pizza. "Wanna watch some T.V.?"

"No thanks. Professer Kim gave us a lot of reading to do. I better go and do that now."

"Right, bye."

Rory went to the frigde to get out that burger she got from Luke's the day before, hoping that it hadn't spoiled. Nothing killed her more than to see a piece of perfectly good beef die at the hand of a college student. Well, it hadn't spoiled, but the fat sure did congeal quite nicely.

Fifteen minutes later....

It was either the burger or the dehydrated Juicy Fruit in her book bag.

This chapter was just to give you a taste of Rory if you've never seen Gilmore Girls. I know she's a bit like Lorelai, but just wait and I'll make her more in character. Review. I'm a people person.


	2. Between Awake and Asleep

Chapter ONE

AN: No Jack or Will or Elizabeth in this chapter. Too bad, so sad. AND, just to inform you, when Rory goes back in time, it's not like, "Hey, I'm in the movie!", it's like "Hey, I'm stuck back in time and that guy does not look like Johnny Depp!" Get what I'm saying? If not, you soon will. By the way, I need a betta who knows about punctuation. One who knows how to spell wouldn't be bad either. Thanks, please review. And constructive critism will be cherished. And signifies a time laps.

Oh crud. I should not have eaten that burger. It may have been from Luke's Diner, but that didn't make the thing harmless. I needed some form of medication and I needed it now. I had puked several times already because of that burger and I was determined not to do it again. Maybe eating something would help.

I slowly peelled myself off of the flowered love seat, walked equally slowly to the mini-fridg and opened the door to see what was inside. Nothing. I should have known. The intelectuals at Yale sure liked to eat a lot.

I picked up the phone and dialed my mother's cell. She picked up on the first ring.

"Hey babe," she said into the phone.

"How'd you know it was me?" I asked, getting suspicious.

"Calm down horsie, I finally got you saved in this damn thing."

I could just imagin her glaring at the cell.

"You sound nasty," she said, "Somethin' wrong?"

"Word to the wise, Luke's burgers should not be saved for later."

There was silence on the other side.

"Hellllllooooooo?" I asked, "What happened?"

"Yeah, remember when I came over yesterday and all you had in the fridg was a week old burger and that other one from Luke's?"

"I ATE A WEEK OLD BURGER? But, it didn't even look spoiled!"

Mom sighed, "That's the magic of Al's Pancake House. Listen babe, I'll just come on over with any drug of your choice, heroin, speed, PeptoBismal, anything, and some really good food too. God knows you need it." With that, she hung up and left me to die. She didn't even let me give her my drug of choice.

Mom had come bearing vegitables. No, not vegitables, A vegitable. Bowls and bowls of colliflower.

"Mom! Have you gone insane!" It wasn't really a question, but a statement. My mother didn't usually answer questions seriously, so you had to bait her with a statement.

"Shh babe. It's supposed to clean out your crap canal. Can't ever remember if it's the large intestine or the small one...." She mumbled to herself.

"Here," she said as she came up to me, "Lay your head on my lap and I'll tell you a story."

"While feeding me colliflower?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yes, I'm going to stuff your face with this discusting white vegitable." she said as she sat down on the love seat. She patted her lap, signalling me to lie down.

As soon as I put my head on her lap, she broke off a piece of colliflower and literally shoved it into my mouth.

"Now," she began "And if I die before I-"

"I've seen the movie." I interrupted, which was kind of hard considering the bumpy lump inside my mouth.

"Shh babe, it's a classic." She said, gave me a pat on the head like I was Buttercup, our dog that we got rid of after a week of him living with us and proceded to tell me the story of Carrie and her oh so tragic death.

I don't know for how long she had been telling me the story when I slipped off into that place between being awake and asleep. Where everything was blury and perfect. Where you felt like you were watching yourself from above. Between awake and asleep, you felt people's touch and you heard them talk, but you didn't REALLY feel or hear anything. And suddenly, I was falling! Not falling asleep, but actually falling! I curled myself into a ball, brasing myself for impact, when as suddenly as it started, it stopped, and I was back on my mother's lap being fed colliflower.

"You okay babe?" she asked, "You kinda went all fetil on me."

"I'm fine, actually, I'm feeling a lot better." And I was. Amazing, what a little bit of colliflower can do to a person.

"Yay!" mom clapped her hands like a little six year old, "Oh babe, I gotta go and okay the new stove for the inn now. You gonna come home for Spring Break?"

"No," I said, "I think I'm just going to stay here and study for that English Lit test after break."

"For a week?"

"You should know be by now, Lorelai Victoria Gilmore" I said to my mom.

After my mom left, I put my head on one of the love seat's itchy lace pillows and closed my eyes for a while.

When I decided I was feeling better, I left the dorm with some books and headed towards the big Oak tree I always studied under. The minute I sat down, I was inbetween the worlds again. I couldn't feel the tree anymore, I couldn't make out what the other kids were saying, and I was falling again. Except this time, I was also being pulled! Some cosmic force was pulling me down through the grass and soon, I saw dirt and disturbing images of worms and bugs crawling through it. Everything was moving in a jumpy motion, like it was being filmed by one of the ealiest cameras made.

Soon, I landed on something soft and green. I knew it was grass, but I couldn't see it very well, I was still between awake and asleep. Everything was blury and the sound seemed to be moving in slow motion, but I could still make out people. People who looked to be wearing big blobs. Silly me, those were probably skirts. Extremely full skirts.

stealling that idea, you know, about transporting through that way, from a book I read. Can't really remember it's name. But the description is mine.

I don't know what kind of tree it really is, so let's just call it Oak.

And as a treat, here are a couple of Gilmore quotes.

[Lorelai's having Rory]

Lorelai: Okay, this is a big pain and I'd really like it to go away, please.

**Nurse**: Just breathe deep, honey.

Lorelai: Breathing doesn't help, can I hit you instead?

Paris: Maybe I shouldn't go. I mean, what if I fall for him and he doesn't like me?

Rory:Then you'll find someone else.

Paris: But what if there is no one else?

Rory: Then you'll buy some cats.


	3. Clumsy

Chapter TWO

AN: This thing seems to be uploading things weirdly.... Oh well, screw

it, I'm sure you're smart enought to figure it out on your own.

At the Port Royal picnic, Miss Elizabeth Swann was dancing a

conservative dance with Mr. Worthing, a wealthy bussiness man, when she felt

something bump into her very lightly. She pretened not to notice and tried

to focus on Mr. Worthing's face, which was getting more and more

difficult to do because he kept trying to bury his nose into her thick hair.

"Elizabeth, darling," she heard him wisper in her ear "Why don't you

lose that Turner boy and join me for a night of pleasure?"

Elizabeth couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"Are you saying that you want to... in my bedroom?" Elizabeth asked as

she was being twirled accross the perfectly green grass.

"No!" he boomed, "Don't be silly, dear. Your bedroom is too obvious.

We should try the study."

Just then, Elizabeth felt something bump into her again, except this

time with more force, and what sounded like someone saying "Sorry." from

a distants. But how could that be? If the person saying sorry was the

one who bumped into her... Elizabeth quickly jerked her head around to

have a look behind her, giving Mr. Worthing a good mouthful of her

hair. She thought she saw the air behind her some how move and change

color.

"Mr. Worthing," she said,"I'm terribly sorry, but I have to go now."

"Oh. I didn't scare you did I?" He asked, but only to appear polite.

"No. But know that if you are ever to do that again, I will have Jack

Sparrow knocking on your door."

Will was sitting with the men in a suite like the rest of them. He had

wanted to appear worthy of Elizabeth. Speaking of Elizabeth, he had

spotted her dancing with Mr. Worthing earlier and did not like it. The

man was rumored to have impregnated at least three of his maids in his

home in France. So, naturally, he was glad that she was finally out of

his arms and free to be with him.

He excused himself from the table of gentlemen and walked up behind

Elizabeth, who was looking up at the sky strangely.

"What is the matter, Elizabeth?" He said as he rested his large hand on

her sholder.

"Nothing, I just felt something touch me while I was dancing with Mr.

Worthing."

"Where did he touch you? I'll kill him, I swear."

"Will, it wasn't a touch like that."

"Oh. Well, then what was it?"

"I don't know, I was just dancing when I felt something bump into me.

I just thought it was another dancing couple. But then I felt it again

and this time, when I turned to look, there was nothing there."

"Well," he said, "Nothing to worry about. Must have been-"

But Will got cut off before he could finish, because just then, he felt

something bump into him. Then, he heard the distant apology.

Why was I bumping into every thing? And was it just me or did the

people here look a little less than normal? All the men, or at least who I

thought were the men, had white hair. Well, except for the one I just

bumped into.

Will nervously checked behind himself only to find nothing there. But

wait, there was something there. The shape of a man only a dozen

inches away from him. As the blury image began to clear, he noticed that it

wasn't a man, but a tall woman in very little clothing. He couldn't

help staring transfixed.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard Elizabeth talking to the

girl. Telling the woman to follow her into the Swann mansion. The still

blury woman nodded and followed Elizabeth inside with Will trailing

behind.

"What are you?" Elizabeth asked the minute they were all locked safely

in the library.

"What am I?" the being asked, "What are YOU?"

The thing's arms and hands had become clear and looked as solid as

anything else in that room. Soon, her legs began to appear, and Elizabeth

noticed that she was in what looked like leather boots and her legs

were covered in a strange type of tights. One that was just a bunch of

threads that crisscrossed over each other. The tights seemed to go on

forever, until they hid under some kind of skirt that reached right above

her knee. Her arms and torso were covered in a hideous striped shirt

that clung to her every dent and curve. (yes, that is a Rory Gilmore

outfit, and I'm trying to describe it the way Elizabeth may have seen it.)

"I ask again, what are you?"

"And more importantly," Will began, "Where are you from?"


	4. What the 'ell is that, mate?

AN: I really would apreciate a betta, but considering that my friend Mari's the only one reading this now.... Oh yes, mucho thanks to Mari for uploading this crap for me. If you hate this story, it's all her fault, because she makes it happen. Just kidding.

CHAPTER FOUR

Last chapter: "I ask again, what are you?"

"And more importantly," Will began, "Where are you from?"

"How is that more important than what I am?" The girl asked Will.

"It doesn't matter which is most important! Just answer the questions please." Elizabeth said.

"Well," the girl began, "My name is Lorelai Leigh Gilmore, Rory for short, and I am a human being. I am from Earth. It's the third planet from the-"

"We know what Earth is," Elizabeth snapped, "You're on it."

"No," Rory said calmly,"No, I'm not. If this were Earth, then you wouldn't be dressed like that. I'm probably asleep right now. You probably don't exist."

"You're not from around here are you?" Will asked.

"How did you get here?" Elizabeth said, ignoring Will,"And what part of Earth are you from, if that is really where you're from."

"I'm telling you, I probably fell asleep. I mean, it's either that or I went back in time." Said the girl.

"Should we inform the local asylum?" Will wispered into Elizabeth's ear.

"Alright," Elizabeth said, "Let's all sit down and talk this through."

Rory nodded and gave Will a why-aren't-you-as-smart look.

"Well," said Rory "From the beginning?"

Will and Elizabeth nodded.

"Um, I'm Rory Gilmore of Stars Hollow Connecticut...."

"Yes. Well, you can skip all that, we just want to know how you got here." Will's pirate half said very politely.

"Oh." Rory said, a bit taken aback, "Well, I was about to open my book and begin studying when... I began falling asleep. I think I'm still sleeping. This must some kind of dream. I couldn't have really... tripped over time." She said to herself.

"This is the year 1689. Maybe you did 'trip' over time. What year is it where you're from?" asked Elizabeth as she rose out of her seat.

"1689?! It's 2004 where I'm from!" The girl shouted as she too, rose out of her seat and began mumbling to herself, "I was falling. I fell through time. Haven't I read this somewhere? That stupid book in the seventh grade! Who knew the old woman was right?"

Will glanced at Elizabeth. She couldn't possibly believe this insane girl! Though, he had to admit, weirder things had happened to them. Why should a scantily clad girl jumping back in time be any different?

"We're cursed." He said under his breath.

Elizabeth just nodded.

Rory had been staying at the Will Turner's for three weeks now as Will's sister in law from the colonies. She had pinched herself, pricked her fingers and even once slammed her knee against a heavy wooden desk. Nope, she wasn't dreaming and she had the cuts and bruises to prove it.

She really was in 1689. Lorelai, Luke, coffee, she missed it all. She even missed how her mother would go panty-less rather than do her own laundry. She hadn't had coffee. No coffee for three weeks. Sure, she'd have the ocasional cup, when Will could get a hold of it, but they were in extremely tiny little midget cups instead of the big coffee bowls that she was used to. Normally, she would have three big cups a day, which was nothing compared to her mother's intake, and now she was suffering from coffee depravation. Her hands where shaking and she couldn't think straight most of the time. She even began bursting into song. Little snippets of City of Angles and Beautiful Day were common. She looked like a headcase and she knew it.

Elizabeth would try to talk to her and ask her about the future and whether it was scandolous or not to wear what she was wearing when they first met or not. All Rory did was growl in response when Elizabeth asked her questions. So Elizabeth gave up trying to make sense of Rory's cranky mood and just talked.

"Once upon a time, I got kidnapped by fierce pirates, really discusting ones too. I mean, one was almost fully bald and at least seven inches shorter than me... I think."

And talked.

"And I said, 'You like pain do you? Try wearing a corset!' and WHACKED him with a candle stick."

Non-stop.

"And now we're engaged."

Rory didn't catch anything except that Elizabeth was engaged to Will and that they were going to marry soon.

"You know," Elizabeth said, "I think Jack may be able to help you with your predicament."

"Help?" Would there be coffee involved?

"Yes help. Jack, he may be a cad, but he knows things. And I'm sure he'll help. With some persuasion.... And gold."

"Gold?"

"What in the 'ell is that mate?" Jack asked Will when he saw Rory curled in a fetil position on the marble floor of the Swann guestroom with a blanket draped around her shoulders.

"That's Rory Gilmore. She insists she's human."

"Oh. Think she's talkin' to 'erself."

"Oh no, she's singing. She does that sometimes."

"...Bitter sweet symphony...make money...and then you diiiiiie." came the muffled words from the thing under the blanket, "Oh! It's a beautiful daaaay, don't let it... diiiiiie. No that's not it! Hmmmbeautiful day... don't let it...get away." The lump colapsed.

This little display reminded Jack of something. Something he was all too ready to forget. It was about three months back and the Pearl had been at sea for five months already, more than it had ever been before without a stop. One day, when Jack reached for his morning bottle of rum, he noticed the drawer that he kept the stuff in was empty. He went down to the hold to open a new crate of rum, but there where no more crates. Someone had finished all of his rum. They were to far away from land to dock anywhere so he was left rumless, and for that week he spent without rum, he lay in a fetil position and wouldn't stop singing that little pirate song Elizabeth had taught him on the island last year. That was the worst week of his life. Clearly, the girl needed some rum.

"How long 'as she been like this?" He asked Will, suddenly concerned. No one should live without rum. No one.

"Three weeks." Will said oblivious to Jack's tone of voice.

"THREE WEEKS?! BLIMEY! Boy, are you insane?!"

"ME?! SHE'S THE ONE WHO THINKS SHE'S... who she says she is!" Will yelled.

"Right. Will, please sort out your thoughts the next time I visit alright? Alright. Now, why did 'Lizabeth send word for me?"

"She was hoping you'd know something about time travel." Will wispered.

"Why?" Jack wispered back.

"The thing, girl! Rory, says she's from the year 2004."

"So she really is insane.... Sorry I doubted ya, boy. It's hard to trust a eunuch."

"No! She's not insane. Well, maybe a little, but Elizabeth really believes she's from the year 2004."

"So, what you're sayin' is that you, the eunuch, are engaged to Lizzie who is also insane, because she believes the insane girl on the floor who sings about money and death is really from three hundred years from now? Is that what yer sayin'?"

"If you take away the eunuch part, then yes, that is what I am saying."

"Are you daft boy?! Clearly this girl is not from around here and is in great need of rum. Just look at the way she's rocking!" Jack said as he pointed at the strange girl fourty feet away from him.

"What makes you think she needs rum?" Will asked, a bit confused.

"Trust me whelp, I've been there." Jack said grimly.


	5. Who?

AN: I guess you could call this a filler chapter. Or a Rory and Jack mostly chapter.

Mari(WinonaForever): Thanks for reviewing. As always.

Leanan Sidhe: "I like how you are using your word plays here. Very witty in their simplicity." Right, I didn't know I was doing that. Thanks for reviewing. I totally forgot about the backstory-ness. I knew there was something I was forgetting burried in my mind somewhere, I just needed someone to point it out.

SavvyKiwi: Suggestions are always good. I knew Rory's character wasn't down very well, and it's kinda sad cause I've been watching GG since the first season.... But I'm just gonna blame it on lack of coffee. And I've been trying the asteric thingy and it always gets erased. I don't know why I didn't think of putting the "Jack POV" thing earlier. Ha. Psst. My thinga-ma-whatsit doesn't have spell check, but I'll try the dictionary sometime.

CHAPTER...Something.

(Rory POV)

I was sitting on the bed of the guest bedroom, with a book in hand and coffee in me. Once I had calmed down enough to tell Elizabeth what was wrong, she immediately got on it. Or rather, she got one of the male servants on it. I think she was just sick of me... doing what I was doing. I couldn't remember what had happened, but Will said that I wouldn't stop singing about money. I guess I had become a different person. I wonder what would happen to my mom if she went without coffee for three weeks. She'd be eating bark or something like that.

I've been gone for three weeks! How did the time travel thing work out in the book? Um, the time passed in the girl's world, the future, it didn't wait for her. What would mom think? Spring break was only a week long, what would she think if I didn't come and visit her? What would grandma think if I didn't come for those Friday night dinners? I rarely missed them. Would the call the police when they find out I'm gone? Of course they would.

Mom would appear calm and cool and grandma would be hysterical. Like she was when I accidentally stayed out all night with Dean two years ago. Grandpa, of course, would be the rock for when mom's cool exterior would crack. I missed them. How would I get home?

There was a knock on the door.

"Rory?" Came Elizabeth's voice.

"Yes?"

"Are you decent?"

I looked down at myself.

"I think so."

"Lovely, I'm coming in."

"Hullo," she said as she opened the door, "It's almost time for dinner. I will help you get dressed so you can go down."

"Okay."

"I'm assuming that means yes?"

"Yes, yes it does." Was 'Okay' a word back then?

"Here, you can borrow one of my dresses. We're the same height, I think. Follow me." She said as she walked into the hall and into her room.

She opened her closet doors where there were three large chests on the floor. She opened the chests and simply said "Pick one."

Pick one? Just like that? Well, if that's what she said, then why not.

I dropped down on my knees and began rummaging through all of the colorful clothing. Some were bright pink with puffy sleeves and some were green with tight sleeves and some were... just wrong. Finally, at the bottom of the second chest, I found it. It was a plain midnight blue dress that seemed to be made of silk with tight sleeves and a square cut neckline.

"Nice choice," said Elizabeth from behind me, "I'll help you put it on."

(Later)

'I'll help you put it on.' my ass. Twenty minutes of struggling with a damn corset. And for what? A crushed ribcage and no room in my equally crushed stomach for food. This dinner better suck.

(Dinner)

"Rum?" Asked the man seated across from me at the table.

"No thank you, I don't drink." I replied.

"Not at all?"

"No, not at all." Well, sure I'd had the occasional sip of wine, but I didn't want this guy thinking there was anyway to make me drink the crap.

"Elizabeth? Would YOU like some rum? You know what? Forget I asked, Rum Burner." He mumbled under his breath.

Elizabeth ignored that and turned to me. "You haven't eaten anything on your plate, are you not hungry?" She asked.

"No, I'm really not." I lied as politely as I could. Of course I wasn't going to eat. We were having a delicious roast for dinner along with some delicious rolls. I knew that if I had one bite of that, I wouldn't be able to stop and they'd have to use the dirty man's cutlass to cut me out of this dress. "Well, maybe I am." Ugh. I had no power over roast.

"So, luv," said the dirty man, "What was it that ye were singin' earlier?"

"I don't remember." I said, suddenly becoming transfixed. There was something in his eyes, a glint of some sort that reminded me of someone back home. But who?

"How can ye not remember?"

"I forgot." Luke? Was it our coffee guy Luke?

"Well," Will spoke up for the first time since dinner started, "Elizabeth? Isn't it time for dessert?"

"Oh yes. I'll go get it now. Would you like to help me Will?" What were they doing, trying to leave me with this... person?

"So," began the man the minute Will and Elizabeth had disappeared, "Would you like some rum?"

"No."

"Are ye sure?"

"Yes."

"Are ye really sure?"

"I'm more sure than the day I was at my surest."

"Surest?"

"Yes, surest."

"Oh well, more for me then." He said before he took a big gulp from the opaque bottle in his hand.

And then, there was silence. Jack twiddled his thumbs, I checked for dirt under my nails.

"I'm Jack, by the way. I'm a pirate." Pirate? Was he serious? He sounded like a little kid claiming to be Peter Pan.

"Well Jack-"

"Captain."

"Captain," Why tell me his name was Jack without telling me not to call him Jack?. "Well, I'm Rory and-"

"Rory? Isn't that a bit o' an unusual name fer a girl?" This guy had serious interrupting problems.

"Well, my real name's Lorelai, but-"

"Lorelai. The siren. Now that's a lovely name. Why don't you go by Lorelai?" He took another swig of rum.

"My mother is Lorelai."

"Would SHE like some rum?"

"Probably."

"Ah finally, someone who appreciates the drink."

More silence in which Jack repeatedly scratched his cheek and I rubbed the back of my neck.

Suddenly, he took his fork and stabbed one of the potatoes on his plate. "See this potato?" he said, "His name is Marcus. Marcus is hated by all men, aren't ye Mr. Marcus? You know why he is hated?"

"No." I was transfixed again. Potato people. Who at home did that?

"Marcus? Would you like to explain?" He then began to speak in an odd accent, "Sure, I would. You know why I'm hated? Because I dance, I dance like a girly man. And the others are just jealous because they can't be manly girly men. Like me." Arnold Schwarzenegger?

"My MOTHER!"

"What?" His voice was back to normal.

"You remind me of my mother!" I yelled pointing at him.

"Yer mother? Couldn't I have reminded you of a past lover or somethin'? Did it have to be yer mum?"

"Don't look at me. You're the one who's acting like my mother." I shrugged at him.

"Well. Was she at least an interestin' woman?" Jack asked with a funny face. One that kind of said, 'Well, if it's going to be yer mum....'

Before I could reply, Will came in with a plate of chocolate cake in each hand with Elizabeth trailing behind.


	6. UGLY UGLY UGLY BASTARD

AN: Why is it so easy to write Rory when you don't think of her as Rory? I mean, I've got another character Sin, who's more Rory than Rory. Ugg. Please review, I really do enjoy reading them.... And by the way, the last chapter ended kind of funny, so, sorry about that.

AN2: Now, for sure, I want them to meet Lorelai. Except, I don't know whether she should fall back in time or Rory can accidentally take the three others to her time? I'm leaning towards the latter, but I want to hear what you have to say. And any words that are all capitals that wouldn't normally be capitalized are supposed to be italics. This stupid thing doesn't believe in italics.

SavvyKiwi: Thanks. Review mucho appreciated.

CHAPTER....Six? Or Five?

(General? POV)

It was after dinner and Elizabeth and the others were all relaxing in the library. Her father was in his study, away from Jack. He had agreed to having Jack over, as long as they didn't see each other during his visit. Then that way, maybe he could pretend the visit never even happened. It was still disconcerting, having a pirate in his home.

Rory sat in one of the high backed chairs, focusing all of her energy on the book in her hand while the others stared at her in some form of awe. Maybe it hit them that I really am from the year 2004, Rory thought, but why did it take three weeks?

"You know, luv," Jack spoke up, "Ye really are very different than that singing girl on the floor. I think I liked you better when you were coffee deprived. You were much more interestin' then. I mean, now, yer just no fun."

"You know Jack, my mom tells me that all the time." Rory said receiving a look from Jack.

"Oh Jack, I'm sure our friend has many interesting stories to tell. Don't you Rory?" Asked Elizabeth.

"She must!" Jack put in, "After all, I remind her of her mum."

"I guess I do." Rory said hesitantly.

"Well then, tell us one." Will said, all too happy to give up the staring. Why doesn't he talk? Thought Rory, I almost forgot he was here.

"Now that I think about it, they're not all that great."

"Nonsense. You must tell us something." Elizabeth pushed.

"Um. Okay," there goes that word again, "Um. I was born out of wedlock when my mother was sixteen," everyone but Jack gasped, "My father offered to marry my mom and she refused. She and I have been living alone ever since."

"Any thing else?" Will asked.

"Well, I could tell you about the zucchini."

"Zucchini?" Asked Jack, "You mean that vegetable that looks like a cucumber, but is really slimy on the inside? That?"

"Yes, that."

"Well what's so interestin' about zucchini?"

"It's interesting when you have to sleep in them to make sure that the heater keeping them warm doesn't suddenly shut off during the night."

"You sleep in zucchini patches?" Will asked, not believing his ears.

"Well," Rory said, becoming a bit self conscious, "Not on a regular basis. And that was my mom who slept in the zucchini anyway."

"Are ye sure yer from the planet Earth?" Jack asked just to clarify.

"Jack! Don't be rude." Elizabeth scolded.

"If ye tell someone that yer mother sleeps with zucchinis, ye should know that yer askin' fer it," was his logic, "So, does yer mum sleep with pumpkins too? Just curious, is all."

"Why do you want to know? Do YOU sleep with pumpkins?" Rory retorted.

"Jack Sparrow is above common vegetables." Jack said, a bit miffed. They'd practically forgotten Will and Elizabeth were still in the room.

"Pirates aren't above vegetables. Vegetables are nice enough not to get themselves killed." What was she saying? And where were Will and Elizabeth? Must have left.

(Rory POV)

"But they get eaten, now don't they?" They did. Damn.

"Vegetables don't sleep around with whores. Like pirates."

"Oh PLEASE! I'm sure there's a pumpkin or cucumber out there that's been used for a man or a woman's pleasure!" Jack burst out.(1)

Ew.

"Oh, that put ye off. Sorry 'bout that. Didn't mean it."

Eeeew.

"Come on luv, don't scrunch yer face up like that. Ye weren't pretty to begin with."

"Did you just call me ugly?" Was my jaw on the floor? No, it dropped right through the floor and into the room under.

"No. I did not call ye ugly. I just said ye weren't pretty. There's a difference. Of some sort." He looked uncomfortable. Good, let him squirm.

"What is wrong with me anyway?" I was curious now.

(Jack POV)

"Well, no offence, but... LOOK AT YOU! Yer eyes're to big fer yer face, ye've got no breasts, yer nostrils flare on a regular basis... and you have horrible ears." I'm in it now. She'll pretend to pretend this never happened and when I least expect it, two years later, right before I'm about to dock in Tortuga and find a strumpet, she'll hack off me men. And I don't mean me crew. Well, now that I think about it, I guess ye could call 'em-

"Ears? You don't like my ears?" Thank God she forgot her small breasts.

"No, they're entirely too... something."

"And you insult me for having a mother who cares about zucchini while you're the one with an ear fetish?" Her too big eyes were now tiny slits of... doom, yes, doom seemed to work.

"It is NOT a fetish! How many times do I have to tell ye people."

AN: Sucky place to end a chappy, but....

(1) That pumkin thing actually happened. Some man was caught doing a pumpkin not to long ago and the cucumber is a Greetings From Orange Grove reference.


	7. Ugh! I thought this chappy hadn't uploa...

This is one of the worlds smallest chapters ever. Sorry about being gone for so long. No excuse for it.

CHAPTER THAT COMES AFTER THE LAST ONE YOU READ.

(General POV)

Rory was sitting on a small crate in the smithy (that is such a weird word) watching Will work and being the good sister in law that she was.

"Would you please hold this for me while I find the hammer?" Will asked as he held out a strip of red hot iron.

"That? Are you kidding? I'd probably set your face on fire." Was Rory's responce.

"Nothing will happen. Just hold it."

"Ugh. Fine." Rory frowned as she took hold of the melting iron and put it up to her face, inspecting the lava like tip. Deciding this a stupid move, she pushed it out at arm's length and held it there for as long as she could.

"HELLOOOOO LUVS!" And the iron went flying out of her hands and fortunately landed on the donkey. Well, not so good for the donkey. The hot iron woke the poor thing right up from a peaceful sleep.

"Jack!" Rory scolded, "Because of your extremely loud hello, we now have a physically disabled animal on our hands."

"Not my fault. Yer the one who let the thing fly. And fall." Jack said calmly.

Rory hoped the donkey was okay, but she wasn't about to go up and check. That animal stunk. Will, aparantly, didn't mind the smell, because he got right up in that donkey's behind to inspect the wound.

"What did you come here for?" Will asked Jack as he gently prodded the donkey.

"Don't rightly know. Guess I jus' felt like sayin' hello..." Jack answered as he plopped himself down on the crate Rory was sitting on, "Oh YES! I came to say good-bye not HELLO. Good, I remembered."

"Good-bye?" Rory and Will asked in unison.

"Yes, good-bye. I have overstayed my welcome. That, and yer out of liquor."

"But...but you were supposed to help get me home!" Rory shouted.

"Oh. I was hopin' you'd forget that just like you did about your sma-oh. Listen luv, I don't know anythin' about time travel. Undead pirates? Sure. Time travel? No."

"So I'm just stuck here."

"Like a boot in dung, luv. Like a boot in dung." Jack said as he shook his head and turned to walk out..

"No! You will stay here, with me, and you will find a way for me to get home! Do you hear that, Mr. Pirate?"

"Look, luv. There's no use in keepin' me here. I can't do a damned thing for ye."

Rory lunged for his hand and grabbed it. Unfortunately, the force pulled him down and pulled Rory down, along with poor Will who was only an innocent bystander. They were just a tangled and tired mess of limbs on the ground when Will announced that he was beginning to feel odd sensations in his body.

"Will," Jack started, "We really don't need to know how Miss. Gilmore is makin' ye feel right now."

"That's not it." Said Rory as her fingers started to blur. She looked around and saw Jack beginning to fade also. She was going back.


	8. Chapter 8 I think

Chapter 8. I think.

"What in alchohol's name is happenin' here?" Jack asked as he noticed his body slowly disappearing.

"I think we're going home." Rory replied as she braced herself for the tunnel

Will felt Jack's long fingers tighten around his sleeve and he was soon consumed with a pulling sensation. Ghost like beings were tugging at their clothing, their hair and one even managed to take a silver trinket from Jack's tangled mane. The tugging increased in intensity and just when it became too much to take, it eased up.

"This must be the end" thought Rory.

Then end indeed. Rory's limbs began to reappear and the beings were gone. Her flesh ached from all the tugging. Her senses were coming back. She was on a hardwood floor and there were three unmistakable bodies lying a couple feet away from her.

RORY P.O.V.

Wait. Three? Had Elizabeth come along also? There's Jack, still knocked out.... And there's Will.... Who's the third? Come on, Up Gilmore.

I rose to my feet and took a closer look at the third person. Jeez. It was Paris. Did we somehow slam into her or something? Paris started to groan and opened her eyes.

"Where have you been?!" Paris asked in a cold tone, "You've been out of school for two and a half weeks now!"

"I have?"

"Yes! And your freako friends kept dropping by with homework and chocolates."

"Chocolates?"

"Tana told them your great uncle Milly twice removed had died and you were a little slow with the mourning process." Paris explained.

It was then that Paris took note of the two guys on the floor.

"Who are they?" She asked.

"I met them at the funeral." I joked.

Paris raised her eyebrows questioningly.

"This is a long story. Sit down." I said.

Paris sat. Will and Jack were still on the floor. Unconscious. Or sleeping.

"So, I was out studying under the oak tree when I felt this weird thing pulling me into the ground. You know, tugging, pulling. So eventually, I ended up at a dinner party. In 1689. I met Elizabeth there and her fiance Will and his best friend Jack. I spent about three or four weeks with them. Will's a blacksmith and we were in his shop today. Jack and I got into an argument and now we're here."

"I do I know you're not lying?" Paris asked.

"Why would I be?"

"I don't know... maybe because you're claiming to have traveled through time?"

"How else would I appear out of nowhere?"

"Got a point there Gilmore."

General P.O.V.

Rory saw Will stir from the corner of her eye. He opened his eyes and started looking around. His gaze fell on the sleeping Jack next to him and then on Rory and Paris.

"Hi." Rory greeted him.

"Hello," he said back, "So, where are we?"

"That's just what I'd like to know" Jack said as he woke from his little nap on the floor.

"You're in our dorm." Paris clarified.


End file.
